Dominant or submissive quiz — where do you sit in the dynamic?

Most people who are drawn to kink and power exchange have a sense of which direction they lean — but "a sense" and genuine self-knowledge are different things. This quiz is a starting point for exploring that more honestly: a structured way to surface what your instincts, desires, and patterns suggest about your dynamic orientation.

There are no wrong answers here. Dominant and submissive are both legitimate, compelling orientations — and as you will find, the line between them is less fixed than it first appears.

Work through each question and choose the answer that feels most true — go with your gut rather than what you think you should answer. Note your choices as you go, then scroll down for your results.

Question 1: When you walk into a room with someone you are attracted to, what is your instinct?

A. To take charge of the situation — make introductions, direct where things go next.
B. To read their signals carefully and respond to whatever energy they bring.
C. To let them lead and see where they take things.

Question 2: Imagine planning an evening with a new partner. What feels most natural?

A. You have already thought about what you want the evening to look like and you will steer it there.
B. You are flexible — you might lead parts of it, yield in others, depending on the moment.
C. You would rather they planned it. Following someone else's lead feels easier and more exciting.

Question 3: When something goes wrong in a shared situation, what is your response?

A. You step in, assess what happened, and take responsibility for fixing it.
B. It depends on the context — sometimes you lead, sometimes you defer.
C. You look to whoever is in charge and support them in addressing it.

Question 4: What do you find more appealing in a kink context?

A. Directing the scene — choosing what happens, reading your partner's responses, being in control.
B. Both feel genuinely appealing depending on mood, partner, and circumstance.
C. Surrendering the decision-making entirely — letting someone else hold the responsibility.

Question 5: How do you feel about being given instructions by someone you trust?

A. Uncomfortable — you would rather be giving them.
B. It depends entirely on who is giving them and the dynamic you are in.
C. Genuinely good — there is a specific satisfaction in following clear direction from the right person.

Question 6: What is your relationship with responsibility in close relationships?

A. You naturally take on responsibility — for plans, decisions, looking after the other person.
B. You share it — you step up when needed and step back when appropriate.
C. You prefer not to carry it — you find it a relief when someone else holds the wheel.

Question 7: What draws you more strongly in an ideal kink scenario?

A. The power of watching someone trust you completely with their experience.
B. The intensity of the dynamic itself — whoever is holding which role.
C. The specific relief and intimacy of giving yourself over to someone else's care.

Question 8: Think about your fantasies or past experiences. What role do you typically occupy?

A. Leading — directing, controlling, making decisions.
B. It varies — you have occupied both and found genuine appeal in each.
C. Yielding — following, receiving, being directed.

Your results

Count up your answers and find your result below.

Mostly A — Dominant orientation

Your instincts, patterns, and what draws you in fantasy all point toward a Dominant orientation. You are drawn to leading, to holding responsibility, to the specific satisfaction of directing someone who has chosen to trust you with that. That does not mean you are inflexible or controlling outside kink contexts — genuine Dominance is about chosen authority within a dynamic, not personality dominance in everyday life. Read our guide to what a Dominant is, and when you are ready, find a submissive on Kink Connex who is looking for exactly what you offer.

Mostly B — Switch orientation

Your answers suggest genuine interest in both sides of the dynamic — which points toward a switch orientation rather than indecision. Switches are not people who have not made up their mind; they are people for whom both leading and yielding hold genuine appeal, often depending on the partner or the moment. That is its own valid and interesting orientation. Read our guide to what a switch is, and find partners on Kink Connex who appreciate or share the full range you bring.

Mostly C — Submissive orientation

Your answers consistently point toward a submissive orientation. You are drawn to yielding, to following, to the specific intimacy of trusting someone else with your experience. Submission is not passivity — it requires genuine self-knowledge, real courage, and honest communication. It is one of the most powerful positions in a dynamic. Read our guide to what a submissive is, and find a Dominant on Kink Connex who knows what to do with the trust you extend.

What next?