The term S&M conjures up many images. Mainly of leather clad masters, whips, chains and nipple clamps. The term has become synonymous with sexual deviance and torture but S&M has many forms from light bondage and roleplay to more extreme pain and sub- dom relationships. See our list of kinks.

What is S&M

The term is a derivation of sadomasochism meaning getting sexual pleasure from pain. Often used to describe the BDSM fetish. While many BDSM practices are enjoyed by practitioners of S&M such as bondage, discipline and spanking, the key differences between BDSM and S&M are, generally in BDSM, a person or couple can enjoy elements of BDSM in their lovemaking without either person being part of a submissive/dominant relationship such as bandage games, teasing, spanking and dressing up, while couples who enjoy a S&M relationship generally identify as a dominant/submissive couple where the pleasure is derived from being in control of the other partner. Often the terms BDSM and S&M are used interchangeably and to all but the most hardcore fetish fan, this is fairly accurate.

S&M for beginners

If you are new to the world of fetishes, kinky sex and dominance, Kink Connex is a great way to ease yourself into the fetish lifestyle at your own pace. We have loads of members who are beginners or simply curious as well as more experienced kinksters. You can find members who are looking for the same experiences as you quickly and easily with our member search and automated recommendations.

Getting started

The best advice for newcomers is to take it slow. Discuss what you are interested in with your partner, what they want and how far to take things. Its too easy to get carried away in the moment and take things too far. This is why its important to set boundaries and a safe word or sign that you want to stop.

Many couples start of with gentle biting, scratching and light spanking as they experiment with what they enjoy and how far they want to go. Everyone’s pleasure and pain thresholds are different.

Meet S&M partners near you

If you want to meet individuals or couples who enjoy S&M, why not create a free Kink Connex account and see who is online now in your area.